why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize