I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
