Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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