i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
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