Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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