feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
