sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
