flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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