Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
