I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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