i jhust puked up my retainher.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm always down for nudity.
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