White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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