id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
wow bdsm is so cute
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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