what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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