Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize