All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
