Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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