So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
