we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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