Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
