She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
