girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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