Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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