so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My penis needs a shock collar
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
