There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
