She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
