Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
