we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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