i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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