I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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