sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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