And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
