I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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