did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
