Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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