Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
