My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
