What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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