If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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