What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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