So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
should my penis look like a turkey
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
