My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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