Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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