Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
