The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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