The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
