woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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