I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
