Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
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It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
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And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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