just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
