hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
