we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
