i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we're making bets on your personal life
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
