"it" just moved
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
