You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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