I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
