this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
