Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
