so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
