she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
